you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect
"Oh so we’re playing this game now ok well in that case DEAN’S A DEMON"
"Yea! Well……… Sam was soulless for a year and had me turned into a vampire"
'WELL DEAN OBSESSED OVER DICK FOR LIKE SIX MONTHS”
"Oh trust me Sammy… it’s been longer than 6 months…"
threw a boomerang like 6 years ago and it never came back so now I live in constant fear
on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
its so annoying when people shame others for wearing makeup and looking good at school like who fucking cares if someone wants to feel good about themselves get over it
I lost the cap to a soda bottle
Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid.
LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE